When I think about the times, the moments of work and I begin to want to write about it, I feel the strong soreness in my legs and my head rings from the pressure. Its another day without an hour of pay, two months since my last job assignment. There wasn't enough pressure on the workers themselves. Being without a career or job is a pressure too. There isn't enough to consider in the end to determine what to think, write, or plan for the job. There isn't much to say its all a thinking process filled with experience. And I'm looking to put the puzzle pieces together on what is a job and what is my puzzle pieces of the stages on a work or job site.
It isn't difficult yet then why do I stumble through the process of a job. There isn't a matter more deeply and strongly pursued than to work. "Man Shall Work All The Days of His Life," well it gets more complicated than that. Anyway, its tough to consider a job a job. Well a skill is a skill. And all the years in vain working. All the underestimated pressures, and all the overestimated deals. There isn't a chance to change a career, it seems for me anyway.
I've been off and on work for over twenty years at minimum wage mostly. I like to think that I can just slip into a job easily yet it is what you make it. There isn't time to waste in between jobs, since the gaps grow by and large chuck full of activities some suitable or not for a particular work environment. Trusting the manager is something I have been more understanding over than the remarks of crowds who think they know best or not. My dad would say as I was growing up, money doesn't grow on trees. And that John Doe didn't go to college, instead worked hard fishing golf balls out of the ponds before he became a millionaire.
Money. I've worked for money, I've worked for heart, and I've worked for health benefits. I thought I could take any job, once it was who you know and not what you know, and for a long time it was about finding your niche and or spreading talent you're gifted. I feel all I have to show for my work is one hundred dollar slip free shoes, and uniforms. There isn't a place on this planet I wasn't convinced I could move up the ladder with hard work. My goals held me up high and then they opened new doors enough to seek new employment and my degree has given me courage to do that.
Maybe if I didn't have a degree I'd be in the same work place, and making the same pay that would be better than nothing. I don' know. Long naps, meals, and work outs have been my most wanted lifestyle with vacations all around the world.
12-28-17
I feel I've become exactly what I've dreaded over weight. Dear God here I depend on the wrong things to get a job, to allow rewards and freedom and happiness in my life. Dear God.
Saturday, December 30, 2017
Dad
Journal over Dad
Poem
Over or under about the wiles and wonders of Dad.
Overcoming, underestimating, overwhelming to the brim.
The cool long stride of living at home at the age of 37 with my mom and dad
is the longest most dreadful journey part I've ever had.
Is it because I am alone or not alone in the essence of family.
What should be what shouldn't be. The very threats and words of negativity.
Over reacting under achieving and feeling glum an blue with out you.
Theres the long lunches of cheese burgers and fries, the see through talks of the minds lies.
Curiosity and failure malfunction and plunder of what dad knows and doesn't.
Theres the revealing traits of hidden agendas that turn up, and the turning over of unhashed makeovers. There isn't a scheme out there without a a truth to be told exhausting and wasting away to be told. What am I getting at, I guess I never wanted to stop being a young daughter since i
don't know what an older daughter entails.
I move life as a snail. Maybe there is a day for a time to slow down.
Maybe theres a way in life to go around.
Poem
Over or under about the wiles and wonders of Dad.
Overcoming, underestimating, overwhelming to the brim.
The cool long stride of living at home at the age of 37 with my mom and dad
is the longest most dreadful journey part I've ever had.
Is it because I am alone or not alone in the essence of family.
What should be what shouldn't be. The very threats and words of negativity.
Over reacting under achieving and feeling glum an blue with out you.
Theres the long lunches of cheese burgers and fries, the see through talks of the minds lies.
Curiosity and failure malfunction and plunder of what dad knows and doesn't.
Theres the revealing traits of hidden agendas that turn up, and the turning over of unhashed makeovers. There isn't a scheme out there without a a truth to be told exhausting and wasting away to be told. What am I getting at, I guess I never wanted to stop being a young daughter since i
don't know what an older daughter entails.
I move life as a snail. Maybe there is a day for a time to slow down.
Maybe theres a way in life to go around.
Friday, December 29, 2017
Career
Forced to deal with this career . my whole life dealing with it all inside in my heart mostly my mind, or i would be using my heart more maybe that would be best. How many jobs make a career that are wild and missing along with those that are organized or logical why bother writing this when I've been unemployed so many times and no one here is familiar with this pattern so I feel I am out of reach out of touch and mistreated for whatever, what am i even saying?
I want to puke up all my food. i want to dive into the moon. i thought i could be a writer instead of dealing with career myths and nature. who know what the hell its all about. theres no surprise no doubt. i hate the fact that we cannot do anything without thinking of forget it.
It's pizza night. Three days till the new year of 2018. I can barely hear you in all my clutter. I can't obey Im so troubled and dismayed oh Lord help us, my son, and me. Please help me to appreciate thee.
I don't want to fight a ymore. What can you do that I can do with y ou ?? Making money, I dream big I dream for you. I miss u everyday through all my life, I need you Lord.
This area and so many other people I need help me treat as you have been needing me, us to treat one another together I cry I cry out loud to you oh God. Anitas pushing me away already, I'm excited for her and Allen and she says I'm excited to early. Whatever is she talking bout, I'll find out.
I belive
I want to puke up all my food. i want to dive into the moon. i thought i could be a writer instead of dealing with career myths and nature. who know what the hell its all about. theres no surprise no doubt. i hate the fact that we cannot do anything without thinking of forget it.
It's pizza night. Three days till the new year of 2018. I can barely hear you in all my clutter. I can't obey Im so troubled and dismayed oh Lord help us, my son, and me. Please help me to appreciate thee.
I don't want to fight a ymore. What can you do that I can do with y ou ?? Making money, I dream big I dream for you. I miss u everyday through all my life, I need you Lord.
This area and so many other people I need help me treat as you have been needing me, us to treat one another together I cry I cry out loud to you oh God. Anitas pushing me away already, I'm excited for her and Allen and she says I'm excited to early. Whatever is she talking bout, I'll find out.
I belive
Saturday, December 23, 2017
His Voice in the Greetings, and Laughter of Strangers
My Great Aunt Tia Elida mailed a Christmas card to our family and it reads "be very careful when you read this card," and I thought this is very unique to say in a card. She inspired me therefore to obey the only way I know how to be careful so I looked up in the dictionary what careful means, and it means to watch for danger. And I read and reread the card daily to see if I missed something and to make sure I was taking heed to her warning in her every word in the card, after all she is my moms aunt from her deceased father, and she loves us very much sending us from Rosenberg, Texas cards all the time on holidays wishing us well and praying for us.
Through her side of the story of losing her brother in a train accident, while he worked on the rail road, she has forever stayed close to his only child, my mother. He died when she was born which was a significant time hence she was never able to meet her father. I wanted to do more for my mother and learned along the way that we have French blood in us from my mothers mothers side of the family. I wasn't able to determine this until over thirty years later. There is a presence that comes around that is the same, today, yesterday, and tomorrow. This presence comes in a endless age, shape and size, the Holy Spirit.
Hearing his voice in the greetings and laughter of strangers reminds me of the song by the Doors, "People are Strange," he mentioned a lot of wisdom of a stranger as I attempt to diligently determine what exactly a stranger is in the fast life, fast life meaning time go's by fast and we're only given 6o years promised from God. Anyway, the song mentions faces look ugly when your alone, or the Guns and Roses song, "Estranged." I began to read the lyrics to these beautiful masterpieces of music while I was pregnant and felt along and strange. I didn't care if it felt normal and healthy to feel these things while pregnant, I still researched quite a bit on strangeness.
GNR says in that song, "You can fool yourself you came into the world alone." So I listened to this hit my whole pregnancy. I faithfully try to understand His Voice, seek His Voice, and hear it in strangers, but for me to figure that out I had to detach from what I thought a stranger was defined and therefore came up with that we are all strangers learning to attach together from all the detachment. Transparency its called, who knows. As I began this quest in I relearn to use my ears and listen to others especially strangers.
Spooky, weird, and freaky is all I come up with when I feel the intensity of this practice of hearing His Voice in the greetings and laughter of Strangers. It feels more magical while working in crowds such as when I worked at the cinema tearing patron tickets and greeting them with a hello. There were so many strangers around me that when one person that I thought I knew and was convinced helped me in my life or was good to me shows up from years ago, assuming you'd never see them again kinda moment comes along, you panic or freeze up. Phobias? All greetings are full of first impressions and if they linger on in memory then relationships are created.
I guess comfort is a big deal to Western Civilization, and when its absent we begin to feel strange. Alone. It doesn't happen often and so I don't expect to run into familiar faces, most of the time the mind can play tricks and someone looks like someone you used to know and this is strange to me. His Voice is everywhere all the time, in everyone if you are seeking it. This is what I then come to believe based on my experiences with long term or short term relationships with roles of employers, employees, family, friends, etc. Someone told me once it was fate instead of strange, not in those words yet whenever we would run into each other as we were growing up convinced of maturity and help from our friends, I didn't see us as strange but that fate brought us together for eternity, yet deep down during my steps in my life this person became the biggest stranger of all with all the missed time dreams and choices or time and just everything seemed to then to fizzle fate out back into estrangement.
Lastly, I think about the start of why I write this silly thing about strangers mostly when its also about laughter in strangers. For me to be careful of what she wrote in her card meant a lot to me, and the intensity I have chosen to portray here is mostly in that we are all strangers here amongst each other since we think we know so much about someone convinces us that its normal and healthy to stay away from strangers, we then I'm convinced find it hard to unite and attach to others from the detachment we don't realize usually on our own. So I use research with references with questions in dictionaries, and books on certain subjects to figure out my way of what unity is to Him.
And my Great Aunt is the one whom I am inspired by to create new yet short spoken journeys to His Voice in strangers laughter's that echo in memory sometimes taking on different shapes and sizes even ages and seeking His Voice in their greetings.
In the blink of an eye, the twinkle of an eye I believe the holy spirit will come with the rapture forcing strangers world wide to greet and laugh together until then. I figure that what I hear in greetings and laughter of strangers is the meaning of greeting which is close encounters with someone, getting to know someone, and the laughter is when you are happy or mysteriously find something funny that brings us all together to be known and loved one way or another. Thats what His Voice reveals to me so far.
Through her side of the story of losing her brother in a train accident, while he worked on the rail road, she has forever stayed close to his only child, my mother. He died when she was born which was a significant time hence she was never able to meet her father. I wanted to do more for my mother and learned along the way that we have French blood in us from my mothers mothers side of the family. I wasn't able to determine this until over thirty years later. There is a presence that comes around that is the same, today, yesterday, and tomorrow. This presence comes in a endless age, shape and size, the Holy Spirit.
Hearing his voice in the greetings and laughter of strangers reminds me of the song by the Doors, "People are Strange," he mentioned a lot of wisdom of a stranger as I attempt to diligently determine what exactly a stranger is in the fast life, fast life meaning time go's by fast and we're only given 6o years promised from God. Anyway, the song mentions faces look ugly when your alone, or the Guns and Roses song, "Estranged." I began to read the lyrics to these beautiful masterpieces of music while I was pregnant and felt along and strange. I didn't care if it felt normal and healthy to feel these things while pregnant, I still researched quite a bit on strangeness.
GNR says in that song, "You can fool yourself you came into the world alone." So I listened to this hit my whole pregnancy. I faithfully try to understand His Voice, seek His Voice, and hear it in strangers, but for me to figure that out I had to detach from what I thought a stranger was defined and therefore came up with that we are all strangers learning to attach together from all the detachment. Transparency its called, who knows. As I began this quest in I relearn to use my ears and listen to others especially strangers.
Spooky, weird, and freaky is all I come up with when I feel the intensity of this practice of hearing His Voice in the greetings and laughter of Strangers. It feels more magical while working in crowds such as when I worked at the cinema tearing patron tickets and greeting them with a hello. There were so many strangers around me that when one person that I thought I knew and was convinced helped me in my life or was good to me shows up from years ago, assuming you'd never see them again kinda moment comes along, you panic or freeze up. Phobias? All greetings are full of first impressions and if they linger on in memory then relationships are created.
I guess comfort is a big deal to Western Civilization, and when its absent we begin to feel strange. Alone. It doesn't happen often and so I don't expect to run into familiar faces, most of the time the mind can play tricks and someone looks like someone you used to know and this is strange to me. His Voice is everywhere all the time, in everyone if you are seeking it. This is what I then come to believe based on my experiences with long term or short term relationships with roles of employers, employees, family, friends, etc. Someone told me once it was fate instead of strange, not in those words yet whenever we would run into each other as we were growing up convinced of maturity and help from our friends, I didn't see us as strange but that fate brought us together for eternity, yet deep down during my steps in my life this person became the biggest stranger of all with all the missed time dreams and choices or time and just everything seemed to then to fizzle fate out back into estrangement.
Lastly, I think about the start of why I write this silly thing about strangers mostly when its also about laughter in strangers. For me to be careful of what she wrote in her card meant a lot to me, and the intensity I have chosen to portray here is mostly in that we are all strangers here amongst each other since we think we know so much about someone convinces us that its normal and healthy to stay away from strangers, we then I'm convinced find it hard to unite and attach to others from the detachment we don't realize usually on our own. So I use research with references with questions in dictionaries, and books on certain subjects to figure out my way of what unity is to Him.
And my Great Aunt is the one whom I am inspired by to create new yet short spoken journeys to His Voice in strangers laughter's that echo in memory sometimes taking on different shapes and sizes even ages and seeking His Voice in their greetings.
In the blink of an eye, the twinkle of an eye I believe the holy spirit will come with the rapture forcing strangers world wide to greet and laugh together until then. I figure that what I hear in greetings and laughter of strangers is the meaning of greeting which is close encounters with someone, getting to know someone, and the laughter is when you are happy or mysteriously find something funny that brings us all together to be known and loved one way or another. Thats what His Voice reveals to me so far.
Wednesday, December 20, 2017
Rediscovering Gods Love in Memories
Memories. The sound of motor cycles, lawn mowers, and birds chirping in my childhood. Wow, so many run through my mind where do I begin to shine the light. Oh God I guess I can start with careers in Orlando, Florida as a princess in costume, or a costume designer in Hollywood dreams and memories of derams dreams I meant. Whatever. Where was I , well little things that go a long way are the memories of the BBQ pulled pork on a hot summer day in a dumpy restaurant so romantic and short lived moments. Rediscover God in that.
Choices of so many wonderful relationships its been painful as hell, and job or career choices or the choice to convince yourself that your choices are right and paradise. Wow too overwhelming so lets think then about the stretches of smiles visions of laughter from younger years and all sudden understandings that slipped away. All those grilled chickens are very good memories of dinners I ate in living in Chicago and salmon.
Oh God I am totally avoiding my strongest most loved memories and I don't know why. Those memories that linger to a love song or a movie type of memory. Noticing the logic keeps those weird stares away and the mind settled. Memories of first loves, first kisses, and first heart breaks are the kind of memories Lord that have manifested all over my world. Dreams of forever growing together not apart from dreams changed by memories that effect choices needed by the fast inconsistency of love.
Whatever ok here are those unwanted forever manifested memories of you and I:..........skip it. Forget them I can't get them out in the open. I've learned to manage the chaos of your memories best through counsel with trusted friends. All those ice cream cones and dates that long gone faster than the twinkle of an eye. Its painful to think of the freedom of a bird. All I've quit, and kept only to be shipped off from mistakes such as my job at Crunch when it went bankrupt, and by routine I up and left to get another job instead of getting a fitness license to train or pleaded and begged to stay or something. It was a nice location, fun environment, and the neighborhood was cool.
Memories utterly painful completely. Memories of innocence and bliss. Memories that pour in and flood your mind. Paralyzing memories of joy and sorrow come and go all day long to lift you through the day or year. I remember the first time I fell in an ice pond, and the first snow ball thrown at me. In my room on Southmoor Ave. where I grew up, the green carpet in my bedroom and the sunflowers painted on the wall with a black background. The pool, and the park.
Phone calls to close and estranged relationships.
Watermelon, frozen pizzas, and Burger King are memories from high school afternoons in front of the television instead of joining a sports team or talent show. Journaling. Then there is smoking cigarettes which was a bad memory. Mad Max 1 and 2, Mel Gibson movies. Good memories. My dad recorded them for me and that was a big deal. Aunt Cecilias sweaty babies which were little Vienna sausage weenies wrapped in a biscuit and baked in the oven. Writing letters to Angela in Houston, Tx and Lisa my primas. I can't forget before cable,internet,cell phones, or underage stuff, there were those long telephone conversations with Eric, and vacations to MGM Studios Cslifornia, and Florida. Sighting the ocean, and the red woods.
. There was the smells in the summer air of flowers and warm wind on the sunny days. There was the long runs and bike rides to the park and the womens magazines that I remember, then the journals and the finger paintings I kept that my dad saved in the basement. Then there is the times when I would blast music loud and run on the treadmill in my basement while doing laundry. There was the first time I lifted a dumbbell to lose weight. I thought it was a man's thing. I thought I'd bulk up into a body builder. Gross right? Man, we've come a long way in fitness trial and errors, teche ology, and education in my family and we still seek God's love in our memories.
All the times I locked my keys in cars, and at home. I even have a memory of a car crash that left a metal plate in my head, and then three more car crashes after that that thank God insurance covered. It was scary to have that air bag blow out on you while rear ending three cars. I remember all those pumpkin pie blizzards and French fries I downed. In my teens we had a trampoline and a basketball court.
In my twenties I spent my early twenties in Bloomington, IN at Indiana University studying business management. This is a time I blocked out to move on in a new life with new people it was not worth blocking out that's when I learned this is a small world. Every Christmas I think of my grandma Norberta, she used VO5 shampoo, and had gold rings and a beautiful face. She watched us all through our teenage years. I think she is still with me even after she passed away in 2005. I feel her in the song bird on wire by the Neville Brothers.
I learned what crocodile tears are when I cried after Greg Carney left to Arizona, a broker I worked with in Chicago. And the dread of leaving Ravenswood, Il, and Wisconsin memories of Lake Geneva with Alex Jack. Remembering jumping into the lake or catching fire flies. The sweet chocolate in a Christmas tin from grandma who passed away.
Coming home so late in age who can forget, who can ever want to go home. How many times did i fall head over heals again and again. I rediscovered God this year 2017 as He shares with me new memories everyday to bring into the light. Stopping randomly in bars and restaurants where my life stood still with mom, and or dad.
God's love is clearly iny memories by helping me to learn from mistakes, and to make better choices for myself. Rediscovering His love this Christmas in my memories has taken the mundane cynical people dull to the senses out of my life. And has taken the negative pessimists out too.
Tuesday, December 19, 2017
How to Put A Baby to Sleep
There isn't a better time to bond with your baby than when they need to get sleep during the day, and night. The bottle always helps with warm milk and just the right amount. Add some rice cereal to the milk at the age of one and a half. Rock him in your arms up and down and walk back and forth for as long as it takes to sooth him.
Keep goin don't suspect he's asleep just because he stopped crying or his eyes are closed. Stay with him for a little while longer and if it seems to long then stay some more with him either walking him around the house or lightly and gingerly bouncing him on the couch to give him a little movement. Have two or three people take turns whenever he wakes up repeating these steps in a cycle.
Lastly, during the day too follow these very nice steps for the baby and this bond is the sweetest bond with your child when you see his chest rising up and down, and his eyes peacefully asleep on your lap. When you want to bond best with your baby practice these things and you will be the closest you'll ever be as he grows up and before you know it won't want to be rocked to sleep anymore.
Monday, December 18, 2017
Christmas poem
Spiraling songs of sparkle and glitter fill my mind. Rhymns of memories to beat father time. All the ones that flash by, make me sigh, and cry lullabies light up my life line.
There's knocking on the snowy white and icy roofs, Santa's raindeer hoofs. Where's there's always too much and never enough, where visions of you call my every bluff as I race or pace life smoothly or rough.
The jewels and jems shining through my dreams, teach me to remember not what could have been, but what could be! Rubies and emeralds glimmer in my eyelids as I sleep thinking of you and me and what we did.
Pearls fill the oceans floor of your house pouring out at my feet while I peek in your door, and I can't complete with what I see before my eyes twinkling again is your sunrise; surprise surprise off to a dead end promise and another compromise turmoiling like a diamond, is disguise.
Waiting and watching for alearning curve, studying and studying until you get what you deserve. All you can remember all u you can forget, all but that one thing you never should have bet.
Spiraling memories, and sparkling songs rise to the surface of times long gone. From your sisters wedding, to your future fretting, searhing for answers that aren't there, and your forgetting, can't find not one. As I sigh at Vegas, and cry lullabies to Jesus, father time is generous without a fuss, Merry Christmas.
Traditional Grandma
There is a chance baby Ethan will eat his breakfast burrito! Small bites turn into larger ones eventually and good things come to those who wait. yesterday was a breakthrough for Christmas time as little Ethan wondered his way around Granma Lydia's house. I'll tell ya walking through her home on Christmas will have you believing in Santa's Christmas list for boys and girls along with the little Elves year round work in the North Pole.
Ethan explored the snow men, and nutcrackers there. Awaits him are gifts of motor cycles, train sets, drawing paper with an stand to draw on. Wow what a nice grandma as her Christmas tree glitters with lights and she sits along side grandpa in her rocking chair. Literally a little petite lady with gray hair and glasses. All she needs is grandpa to grow out his long white beard and the story will come alive as Mr. and Mrs. Claus cook and claim good girls and boys.
Buddy the reindeer dog hops around in his antlers. Flannel pants, and wrapping paper red and green shine under the tree waiting to be opened and make everybody happy. Ginger bread cookies, and Christmas cakes, creative traditions to love and make such as bells, and tinsel. Piping hot coffee and rolls in the oven bring the buttery aromas of Christmas feasts on the way day to day parties await.
Lastly we wait for a baby Ethan to eat his breakfast burrito! And when he nipples at the eggy delight theres a calmness when his throws it o the floor that's everyones delight as long as grandpa cleans it up. Ethans first Christmas with elves and Santa are near, maybe we'll make it to the Bears vs.Browns game oh dear!!
Ethan explored the snow men, and nutcrackers there. Awaits him are gifts of motor cycles, train sets, drawing paper with an stand to draw on. Wow what a nice grandma as her Christmas tree glitters with lights and she sits along side grandpa in her rocking chair. Literally a little petite lady with gray hair and glasses. All she needs is grandpa to grow out his long white beard and the story will come alive as Mr. and Mrs. Claus cook and claim good girls and boys.
Buddy the reindeer dog hops around in his antlers. Flannel pants, and wrapping paper red and green shine under the tree waiting to be opened and make everybody happy. Ginger bread cookies, and Christmas cakes, creative traditions to love and make such as bells, and tinsel. Piping hot coffee and rolls in the oven bring the buttery aromas of Christmas feasts on the way day to day parties await.
Lastly we wait for a baby Ethan to eat his breakfast burrito! And when he nipples at the eggy delight theres a calmness when his throws it o the floor that's everyones delight as long as grandpa cleans it up. Ethans first Christmas with elves and Santa are near, maybe we'll make it to the Bears vs.Browns game oh dear!!
Sunday, December 17, 2017
Papas Christmas Planning Spells and Giggles
There isn't a day that goes by where trends of Christmas linger near. Candycanes, chocolate, cookies, presents, bows, wreaths, pine cones, mistletoes, doves, fudge, grandmas hot cocoa, grandpas snores and double chin. Even in the middle of the summer I can smell or taste Christmas in my nose and on my tongue. I wonder if the elves and Santa have something to do with that since they are working all year around. Snow comes when it wants to come and the seasons change ready or not.
Living with elderly parents isn't easy to deny, and what I mean is that personally I want to stay young forever and want my parents to stay young to forever as I remember them to be when I was in my late teens and early twenties. These years are pivotal for anyone while graduating high school, applying for jobs, or getting married, having a baby, or all of the above during this age range seemed to be the acception.
The older the parents are the harder it is to adapt the sensitivity that we will all getting older. There is a Christmas spell of being younger when your older you feel it more and Christmas makes everyone feel so full of joy and youth starting in the morning. This is the time of year when everyone will feel as an infant feels which is that everything around them is brand new and the glow on their faces light up bright to see everything for their first time and this is what the reason for the season brings to us all that sweet child like love for life.
There isn't a day that goes by where trends of Christmas linger oh so dear and oh so near! The idea and the day comes to us all around the world as we find it charming and difficult to manage and be a part of letting go all that matters, problems, and self. I experienced it last year in a nut shell was my first year of my sons life on earth and the first year of his very celebrated arrival! We all were very happy.
Then I was learning what I have always wanted wasn't what I always wanted when I meant to have a little family I meant to be together on Christmas and so many other little technical difficulties are coming to light while this year will be different, my son will be one and my eyes are more open than last years split up of my little family. All I remember is strangers from my sisters in laws were all over the house, and those I wanted oh so near were oh so far away. Welcome to life. What blessing I have from my son who has brought me 4 grandparents healthy and kind who have taken over the mommy business when things were rough.
That's all I can really write about since the greatness of Christmas is a world wide wonder that should be celebrated all year around, and yet it isn't its call other names, and isn't celebrated on the same days etc. So even in the middle of the summer lingers aromas and tastes of Christmas and I wonder always if this is what everyone is talking about that peace and good will bring. Having parents who are getting older is a phenomenon no one can be ready for so I giggle when my dad drops his hearing aid, or leaves his heart monitor in the bathroom and the baby can swallow it or throw it in the garbage. I can't help but to yelp first then feel the urge to slow down and thank God for all i have before I get that old if I am blessed to live that long, my dad is 60 something...and I feel blessed that we are still in touch, and have faith that all our dreams will come true.
Living with elderly parents isn't easy to deny, and what I mean is that personally I want to stay young forever and want my parents to stay young to forever as I remember them to be when I was in my late teens and early twenties. These years are pivotal for anyone while graduating high school, applying for jobs, or getting married, having a baby, or all of the above during this age range seemed to be the acception.
The older the parents are the harder it is to adapt the sensitivity that we will all getting older. There is a Christmas spell of being younger when your older you feel it more and Christmas makes everyone feel so full of joy and youth starting in the morning. This is the time of year when everyone will feel as an infant feels which is that everything around them is brand new and the glow on their faces light up bright to see everything for their first time and this is what the reason for the season brings to us all that sweet child like love for life.
There isn't a day that goes by where trends of Christmas linger oh so dear and oh so near! The idea and the day comes to us all around the world as we find it charming and difficult to manage and be a part of letting go all that matters, problems, and self. I experienced it last year in a nut shell was my first year of my sons life on earth and the first year of his very celebrated arrival! We all were very happy.
Then I was learning what I have always wanted wasn't what I always wanted when I meant to have a little family I meant to be together on Christmas and so many other little technical difficulties are coming to light while this year will be different, my son will be one and my eyes are more open than last years split up of my little family. All I remember is strangers from my sisters in laws were all over the house, and those I wanted oh so near were oh so far away. Welcome to life. What blessing I have from my son who has brought me 4 grandparents healthy and kind who have taken over the mommy business when things were rough.
That's all I can really write about since the greatness of Christmas is a world wide wonder that should be celebrated all year around, and yet it isn't its call other names, and isn't celebrated on the same days etc. So even in the middle of the summer lingers aromas and tastes of Christmas and I wonder always if this is what everyone is talking about that peace and good will bring. Having parents who are getting older is a phenomenon no one can be ready for so I giggle when my dad drops his hearing aid, or leaves his heart monitor in the bathroom and the baby can swallow it or throw it in the garbage. I can't help but to yelp first then feel the urge to slow down and thank God for all i have before I get that old if I am blessed to live that long, my dad is 60 something...and I feel blessed that we are still in touch, and have faith that all our dreams will come true.
Wednesday, December 13, 2017
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