The Things.We.Miss

Those.extra calories creeping around the house waiting to live in the wrong places and faces. The holidays are back, the heavens take on entirely different altitudes dipping low or feelings of highs soaring all around to  a complete stop.

An IT Santuary

The heavens take and give a mending spirit. Layers there must be of the heavenly realms spirited and weightless.  They're the places where anything is realized at all costs at all times.

Theres no place then like home.  Its 2016, there is no television, radio,cd or dvd player in my room.  I used to jave a Apple nano until I washed it in a pair of jeans.  It was so memorable with that tiny music downloader.  Traveling by car,bike,jogging baby music despensers were the the best thing since walkmans.
The holidays are back and better than ever before with the Android Galaxy 5.  What a peachmaker of conversation over boring or sensitive crowds.  So sweet and so much to learn about the worlds hobbies with radical technology to get me up and moving forward with speed and effective ways.

I was accused for impatience and God brought broadband connection between the lines of chaos and change in advance ments im behind in.  I guess thats why they call it the blues for the naturally sloward ive been myself.  Its sluggish without a room of your own these days full of gusmos and gadgets so I use my parents things which is a bummer so take good care of what your own.

Well I have this phone that seems to know alot more than any source on media portables, and I could and do spend all my time on it with how tos, music, and movies.  For a hundred a month in dollars I stay home and wiz through the latest in fitness, nutrition, and fashion yet still a day late and a dollar short from modern day lifestyles.

But who cares no big deal.  I want more so I can be where the Little Mermaid says it best, where the people are...you see suddenly I am living on my own for at least a decade with my parents a phone call and a expressway or two away then Im back in a their home an earshot and a staircase away.

After much persuasion I realized you cant get better cooking than at home so now here we are estranged and breached by a bridge of life under one roof with so much to show and tell of the heavens where a handful of years at Indiana University, and then another handful and a couple toes of years in North Chicago for me are my choices before I got pregnant and gave birth to Ethan who is only the size of my thigh and brings around a hunk most days of the week that I can stare at the while time, his dad.

I wouldnt have another baby after the things on such a timed schedule needed to be done such as blood work, and ultrasounds.  Its devastating to lose a job, a boyfriend, a friend, or possessions yet the risks of losing your baby is beyond any power or control of reasoning.   The heavens take on entirely a new path for a mother  a heaven more beautiful than anything in this world.

Alright that last paragraph took a timeless amount of thought.  God how difficult and draining writing can be when you get home for the holidays and there's nothing to do in your room while keeping the rest of the rooms required staying out of them until Turkey Day.  Man I love technology it's less paper,ink,and space to take up.

I mostly read other mother stuff, wonder how others do this or that.  Stubborn I guess.  Well Ill be so set when Ironman gives me all his hologram computers and titanium  gettups. So sweet. So unreal.

Meal replacement day 1-4

The changes from eating my regular egg fritattas with onions, carrots, or potatoes to mixing a banana into a fiber and metabolism powder with almond emulsion in a blender with a protein powder was phenomenally youthful!

I was able to enjoy my sleep and routines without any drowsy or dizzy feelings from hunger or nutrient deficiency.  I didnt eat breads or cookies and only snacked on a grw nuts and snack candy left from Halloween.

Im about three shy years from forty and the meal replacements made feel in my early twenties dancing and dressing up to go out with friends. While the hunger pangs grew worse I waited until they passed with a few cups of.hot green tea or wAter. At times I wanted to start eating an egg fritatta and I did since.these have protien and veggies.

I stayed away from the french fries and other fast food frenzied drinks and salty hot dogs or meats.

I was so consumed by getting these meal replacement s down with comfort that I skimped on fitness plans.  Instead I doctered up my new meal replacement piwder with ice and bananas.  My amazement grew back for lifes mysteriously unanswered fitness.and nutrient deficiency questions again.  Without extra calories or sugar this three days with out the dullness and mundane patries and sneaking paranoia that lead me to shame or guilt when I looked in the wrong places of my body images through the mirror vanquished and I was filled with better qualities such as vibrance, calmness, and humor in reading the extra calories in my food journals.

Although my self image changed dramatically after just a few days of meal replacements, I knew when my powder drink friend was gone id go back to fast food calories and.carbohydrates. Realizing I was not a sprinter,or runner I needed to keep the 1200 calorie mark in check.

 I went back to floured breakfast breads, and painfully sweet treats such as the discointed holiday chocolate chip fudge covered marshmallows within the next three hours my fritatta was finished too.

Struggling to stick to water,coffee,tea,and lowcalorie snacks the trip to produce aisle was keeping my hopes up to continue my weight loss journey.  I ate baked carrot sticks called fries with oil and salt. Thank God I liked them too.  Brussel sprouts too.

Took deep breathers through the hunger pangs when my sugar was low. And calories plumpeted.  And the beat goes on while I wait for the next meal replacement powder to come over.  In the mean time how many ways a hard boiled egg or egg white can be cooked is my challenge.  Joy.

The Small Price Tag on Cool

Chicago was at large the most beautiful city at dawn as the sun rose full view from my bus ride into work on Lake Shore Dr. It was the only other time I turned to gaze to the east long enough to feel the pain.  The pain of time wiping out my days faster than the blink of an eye.

Just as I felt the charge of a golden sun shimmey yellow light on the skin on my arms and the density of my eye lashes through the shadows in and out of the windy cities cold wintery white frosted terrain, warm coffee from a small cup without a lid tumbled in large drops onto my black mini skirt running down black stockings and into the softest black suede boots without heels in all of the world.

A job interview covers the neatness and cleanliness of appearance. And the scent of coffee soaked into the seams of my new clothes and handbag which was placed nicely next to my right knee in length and covering all my identification papers.

There are times I couldnt take back that set up my track record of tomorrow. I didnt do this , I didnt do that, so Im here, where are you at?  I dodnt think id dream again, sink, or link my friend.  Too many tomorrows, a holier sorrow for you and me.