There was this story I heard about someone who burned their apartment down smoking in bed smoking a cigarette and falling asleep with it in their hand. I think I see a lot of news on television that involve cigarette fire accidents and growing up we couldn't have candles let alone lighters or cigarettes in the 80s if the year makes any difference. Another cigarette broken in half in my pocket. There is the essence of quitting filling my mind and heart. The thought to smoke it becomes irrelevant and misunderstood by the second. The smell of ingredients and the taste is a mystery. Then the next day another and another. All the time I was wondering if cigarettes were quitting me or was it going to be the other way around. The smell is every where smoke fills the room daily.
The mind blowing cancer causing habits have cigarettes at the top of my list of understanding. Researching ten to twenty cigarette resources from books to word of mouth smoking cigarettes are still very popular in the social lite.
Calculating the cost of buying cigarettes was very depressing when the goal I needed to accomplish was to get an apartment of my own or a house. Moving out of the parents house was what my goal seemed to be until I looked at the cost of smoking. $49.00 a week on a pack of smokes a day was a set back to saving money for an apartment.
There is a man who smokes about a pack a day and I've gone to gas stations and smoke stores to bring him a pack of cigarettes and I'd have my share as we sat planning day to day work and relationship decisions. I've smoked off and on through my teens and twenties. Hiding each cigarette from my family members mostly has kept us from smoking in the house or cars. This decision has kept us from lighting up in the house mostly and yet chain smoking around my friends was an on going strain I kept up with just to light up that cigarette and look and pretend to feel that it brought relief and calm relaxation.
"What We Put In Our Head is Much More Important That What We Put In Our Bodies." Lucinda Bassett Session on Obsessive/Fearful Thoughts. There were years of quitting and long days at the gym in my twenties and then in my middle thirties I picked up smoking again when I was under a lot of stress and pressure to be everywhere with everyone at the same time, I mean it was not possible to do these things and the loss and gains of choices was nursed by a cigarette.
I had to step outside mostly to light up, or brush my teeth and wash my hands after every cigarette. I wasn't allowed to smoke while driving but I did anyway.
Second hand smoke has been a big part of my day sitting inside watching television for hours and in between naps this year. I did stop going to the gym since I couldn't find a gym partner and started bike riding. I feared how I looked and what people stereotyped me as the days of 2015 began to fly by my parents well mostly my mother whom has given me new clothes and a place at home to stay and keep clean which meant no smoking in the house or smelling smoke allowed. She would sneeze a lot and I'd feel guilty and unclean whenever I spent five minutes to go outside for one cigarette.
Somedays between job hunts and worry about where people were at when I needed them I would depend on a cigarette and smoke all hours of the day and night alone and it made me feel worse and worse to think in addtion to all my problems that I may get lung cancer, and or look disgusting to many people who don't smoke. I saw holes in others car seats and clothes from smoking and all the money spent for lighters and cigarettes listening to the horse voices of woman and staring at the mouths of smokers who developed teeth decay and gum diseases as I did.
I couldn't believe it happened to me. I brushed my teeth everyday and barely smoked and gum disease came my way and I couldn't believe that it could be from smoking. No one in my family smokes and neither did my gym family for five years. I don't have any reason why except being addicted to cigarettes to keep one in a book, or in the truck compartments or in my purse a cigarette to have handy daily and without one I'd feel down and distracted by the absence of the oral fixation of having a cigarette in my mouth.and maybe doing something besides keeping my hands folded in my lap cigarettes seemed to absorb all the days controls. And it didn't really.
Smoking was a way to get away from the family table, or work pains such as staring at the clock or feeling the mundane and lulls of the long shift that felt would never end. Cleaning ash trays and constantly checking my breath after a cigarette seemed a new problem from old problems and have them rest and dissolve if possible. The smell was strong all over me, and others and it didn't bother me unless it bothered you. I never knew and it was a risk to smoke for hygiene and health dangers that sabotaged social settings. I feared smelling like smoke around everyone from my boss to my beau.
What were all the new feelings that came with a cigarette like sophistication and class when you remember movie stars who smoke it cangive you the feeling of fame and the non smoking feelings of pleasant ease and wellness? The scares of burning down my house or getting into a car accident lighting up, or losing a relationship over smoking had me blog about the time and money consuming habit of smoking cigarettes and the choices lighting up or not brings to the moment of pleasing and uncomfortable situations.
Living in a smoke free state has made it clear that children and pets are being protected from such a careless choice of habit with many individuals. It's always a conversation starter and breaker during meals. I would like to smoke where would you like me to ash this cigarette? I smoke do you care for one? Im on my way to an interview I'm not smoking so I'll need to stop for gum or sugar free candy.
As you can see a glimpse of the smokers thoughts goes a long way. Sometimes smoking broke the ice and other times it was sad to smoke and see the disaster of any disappointed parent for the hope of a healthy lifestyle and a serious love for wholesome habits.
It's not an easy task to smoke. The body begins to crave attention and cigarettes fill the body with over 7000 chemicals from chocolate to rum. Learning that only a drop of nicotine alone can kill you alone I found out what then has kept smoking such a habit.
Setting a good example for others who don't smoke or are very young I'd often stay away from,crowds if I was smoking a cigarette
Then when I had to count 15 steps away from public entrances to smoke and keep from getting the smoke in others faces or from around their children I wouldn't even bother lighting up.
After meals it was soothing or watching Sarah Jessica Parker doing it made it feel sexy and often with dark red lipstick it felt intriguing until the summers hit 100 degrees or the air conditioner was on then it only brought complete unease and discomfort since it was either too cold or hot out. Mostly it was prohibited though and with a little company over it just helped the time go faster or slower depending on if the others were smoking or nonsmokers.
Smoking mostly began in high school when peer pressure seemed epidemic and smoking would put you somewhere when you weren't athletic or outgoing although I discovered many things about myself later on in life.
There are so many places outdoors to smoke yet I feel mother nature frowning upon request to put it out. There wasn't much she could not say about the lungs in my body or the air I breathe when smoke rings were fun to watch and the bad boys sparked up their lights and lit their cigarette as if to say this is a message to rumors, the gossip, and the long conversations about do's and don'ts.
All those pretty faces on television and with great physical shape had me wonder how they kept their looks and health as a smoker. Kate Winslet, Ashley Judd, Linda Hamilton, and last but not least Audrey Hepburn made me feel pretty lighting up a cigarette. Then I looked at and actresses when I was not smoking to keep me from smoking such as Courtney Love Sigourney Weaver and Whoopi Goldberg in their part of movies. The reason I mention these famous women is because they appear in movies with cigarettes in their mouths and their movies were big during my most impressionable years such as Alien, Ghost, and The People Vs. Larry Flynt. They were the leading roles in these picture films that I adored as a young adult.
Since I was wondering about the cigarette breaks and afternoon shifts cleaning up after a cigarette has been a big deal of time. There is no way a lighter cannot be stolen or a pack be shared around bus or train stops and all the worries and guilt of giving one away doesn't mean much when you know the risks of the smoking habit and they are not easy consequences from coughing up a lung to getting kicked out of the house for being altered by each puff when the mind is relaxed and out of touch. Everyday it's different to light up a cigarette sometimes it's a awful taste and I flick the cherry off and assume it may taste better later thinking about getting out of the rain and having breakfast or going for a jog. Then I hop on a bike and go down street hills and listen to music on earbuds.
Since I cannot believe that I actually go out and buy a pack at the local liquor store it's hard to watch my money or borrowed money worked for being used on cigarettes. There isn't much to say about what I learned watching dad journal every receipt on Florida, Texas, and California trips from gas, hotel, restaurant,and parks as a family.
The years went by relying on my peers pressure it seemed easy to trust others for where Iwe would not yet take care, and smoking was one of them. I would put cigarettes between book pages to find one like finding a five dollar bill in a old coat pocket.
There is a self confidence shake smoking anywhere near authorities, family, and or large crowds. It feels good to know we have a choice to put it out or to think about our surroundings more when you smoke than when you are chewing a piece of gum.
There were alot of good memories accompanied by the distraction of lighting a cigarette and if I could light up in lines I would. There are many places to smoke yet there are more places that prohibit it with signs such as please refrain from smoking such as in theatres, air planes, ball games, churches, and stores.
What difference does it make? How did society decide when and where to smoke I wonder? We scurry as mice looking for a place to light up in a world where there is no place to run or hide to smoke. It's no thrill, it's no fun, and there is nothing artist about the appearance or health of a smoker.
Learning to network in college I could see smoking was a way to delay all the things people didn't want to face such as their weight, their homework, a test, an internship, fashion trends, peer pressure, waiting for that vacation, family visits, blind dates, Friday and Saturday nights, and more.
Most of the time I stayed private and reserved about smoking a cigarette and analyzed it some seasons where I'd survey smokers thoughts, and feelings about their smoking and each treasured story fell into into the eye of the beholder. a quiet and unseen epidemic. There wasn't a beautiful thing in sight when a smoker inhales 7000 chemicals dried put for the smokers pleasure and the love of the habit of course.
Did I look cool sparking up the lighter and kneeling ever so slightly my cigarette tip into the small flame? I had to be funny when I would be so precarious about the getting caught cuteness. I used to be more concerned when I was a teenager and more so in my twenties that someone would disapprove and see me.
There was this time when everyone I met didn't smoke and those that did were not that interested in caring if they did smoke or not. I'd paint my toes and smoke a cigarette to feel more feminine doing the one thing mom would never accept in her house or in her daughter.
Many times I'd buy packs for people who bummed me a smoke and or gave me a drag of one. In fact I can remember someone I owe a pack of cigarettes. Smoking in bed was somewhere I never had a problem not smoking.
Watching the movies stars, and beautiful people light up a cigarette sometimes influenced me to give in an light up a cigarette and other times it didn't phase me especially when I was done with my stressful triggers to puff away and chase around others who lit up to feel I belonged.
Many times I wondered why quit or why start when the middle of it all was where all the smoking takes place. There isn't a good or bad time to light up a cigarette yet I prefer after big meals, and in traffic. I used to think about the way it would effect my hair and nails.
I thought about the way it would be to never light up or never stop and smoking then seemed less of a hassle and a more peaceful pursuit. There is an ashtray full of cigarette butts that cannot be thrown out in case there is an extra drag left on one when money and gas for the car is tight or budgeted and riding the bike down the street to the gas station is a choice turned down.
Adding up the expense of smoking has me thinking about the hour at work I spend getting paid to walk around clean and serve the public fast food in a timely fashion for twenty cigarettes that may be smoked in one day. Then the full day at work is the cost of a weeks worth of cigarette packs. So I look at what I do at work for seven hours and remember that one day on the job is for seven packs of cigarettes and that feels unexplainable. There isn't a healthy part of smoking or a safe part about it while it keeps hygiene and health poor. Running into gas stations for a slice of pizza or a coffee on work breaks used to swallow up twenty a week or more easily from my budget and then their cigarettes and slushees topped the cake of my wallet with twenty dollars in gas twice a week going in and out of work.
Last year for the first time I would by a pack of cigarettes for after work and before work standing alone to puff a few drags. The smell was strong in the truck and on my clothes smoke lingered. My place of work would have me take the garage out and I wanted to light up there and anytime I was outside. The hold smoking has on me isn't there anymore I know the consequences and the choice to smoke is my responsibility and not anyone else's.
After reading 1000 chemicals found in cigarette smoke I came across some very interesting items rum, chocolate, and other extracts or edibles that are rolled into a smoking aparatise. Cleaning chemicals are in there too which is pretty messed up if you think about it. 20 years ago smoking was only something you try on for size and put it back and today smoking is a social networking tool used to feel confident and in control in my opinion.
Turning to a cigarette instead of a bagel or donut was liberating since I am a big junk food consumer and love my sweets. Dad said if I keep eating those sweets I will become diabetic. Then there is the smoking habit and no exceptions for feel mad and bad about life if you're a smoker it seriously does mess with your self esteem.
It quit then lit up again then,quit and lit up again felt the social norm since it is acceptable in society and that was most everyone's favorite smoking conversation. I quit and started up again and each time feeling a little healthier as knowledge is an education on smoking causing can cause weight loss and quitting causes weight gain . After or before a workout smoking felt seriously exhilarating since Catch 22 kept me busy with the long work outs to the then smoking and bad eating.
Being 16 years old and smoking wasn't what I would have chosen for anyone. I began to feel responsible for friends and friends of friends lighting up a cigarette. Then family lighting up which I never saw happen much made me feel awful until the minute I quit and every minute after that until I lit up again.
There wasn't much money in my pocket so I'd borrow money for McDonalds and spend it on a pack of cigarettes. My allowance was spent on cigarettes and lighters for parties and at the age of 35 years old. Over Christmas mom loaned me her credit card for gasoline and when she saw the receipts she said I will take this back if you buy cigarettes so instead I'd scrounge around for loose change in the truck, under couches, and at the bottom of my purse.
This routine of cigarette money went on for years. There wasn't a dime anywhere Somedays and that's when if go into books to see if any cigarettes were left in there to smoke. I couldn't believe the fun and stupidity involved in smoking could be so precarious and time consuming.
Sometimes I would light up to hurry my life up when it stunted my endurance or stamina and breathing. Other times when I wanted to live a long life and was happy I'd think how I could quit any time and the healing process on my heart and lungs would bring some hope.
There isn't a healthy diet on this planet and a cigarette tops the cake. Everything in moderation seems to be more upfront than any bullshit plan of nirvana. There is some one who strings along all they can be and I cannot believe that I actually will grow old and sick because of my smoking and all the bullshit food and inactivity slowly painfully unaware of the muster seed of faith that waits for no one yet will move mountains.
There isn't much to say about smoking it is very acceptable in society, or community and as a perception can morph the mind to keep smoking I would just like to see what else I'd be thinking of and doing if I wasn't allowed to smoke or had the money to smoke.
I remember taking cigarettes half smoked from ashtrays and smoking other people's left over cigarettes when I needed to budget my money or wasn't working and being called a bum was very hard for me since I couldn't admit that I wouldn't kick the smoking habit of tabacco.
Lately I'm up late in the nite smoking outside where the kyoties are howling.
And bright in the early mornings indoors since he's doing the same thing, smoking indoors putting the towel under the door and screens off windows to ash outside.
Without these things around I'm very excited and happy. It wont seem so though when I think of the consequences of not being a follower of smoking. There's the snacking and extra cash around when I don't light up and goals change to eat better or lose weight. Then theres the extra gas money or debts paid. Then choices get better and I go ahead and feel calmer or freer from smoking and social awkwardness. The quiet nights stir me up to soak in the silence. It's a beautiful sound rarely given and my appreciation to structure or mechanical engineering of daily functions bring about the radical radiance of the night.
Lighting up a cigarette sometimes influenced by nature's purities stands a loaf the toxic chemicals smokey swirls after a puff. There isn't much to a drag of a smoke and so I quickly breathe the puff of a cigarette in and exhale with aggressive gusts of air in disgust and distracted disguise transforming into a vessel of frail pieces. The metamorphic transition builds up my appetite and my false pride of independence and intimacy with others.
So when I light a cigarette up and it's 100 degrees out I feel so hot inside as well as on the outside when I smoke. So then I inhale and release the next hill to smoke and I can't see when I need a drink of water more than a pop a drag puff. So then I get more thirsty or every time I pop a cigarette in really hot weather and the weather makes the left side of my temple strain and pulsate and then I wonder if it's from the cigarette. I usually pray after each cigarettes that God will protect the very fragile breathing apparatus within me. To smoke while driving is blank is like when you are watching TV and on the telephone. I wonder sometimes why I even bother having a cigarette if it's just too to keep a steady persona or if its just you that makes me want to have a cigarette because I think I'm going to put everything that makes me feel into you that is good.
When you smoke you tend to know people who ask for money for cigarettes and then there's others who don't expect you to pay back pay you back it's mostly the ones you're borrowing from in the end who want to be paid back. Sit in with kids or go outside with the smokers. Pull a fast one and leave early from a social setting or go in for the fun and food. There's a way out. Running errands wild can be one activity away from a bunch of smokers. Making complete stops on the way back and taking time in the store to get all items on the list.
Years go by with some of my smoker friends and they have quit and then just started again and wonder if it's just a paradox that the opposite of what each other are doing to support each other in the most detrimental area, smoking is believeable.
It's hot out and I'm hard of hearing everything I've heard before about smoking dangers. Smoking will give you cancer, emphesema, age you faster. Motives can be about smoking more and less when you come to a positive or negative milestone such as losing weight, a new job, weddings, funerals, social events, and losses.
When I had final exams I would smoke more and afterward to celebrate passing a yest or a class smoking was easier. Then a cigarette would accompany me after failing an exam that I needed to pass to exhibit skills and interests in a better GPA, and or a better job or career change.
Lighting up during learning what mattered in class notes, grades, and a GPA score seemed to help me to concentrate and focus on what was needed for following advice and counselors about a major and time constraints in switching or adding a degree for more skills under your belt.
Finding a job or a friend made smoking seem necessary maybe because of peers who smoked and celebrities or actors looked up to since they were the people trusted for advice for choices to make in problem solving and they seemed to do it so well.
I could go outside and have a cigarette while at a restaurant, church, and or class sometimes. On a bad day I smoke while jogging or walking the trails around mom and dad's townhouse. While I don't have a cigarette I don't think of one in grotesque suffering as I assume some may feel and I'm very sorry for those who need a cigarette for anything sometimes.
I've worked up motivation to wake in the middle of the night to get a cigarette only to have none. Then theres Bible reading Id rather take on then a trip to the gas station most midnight at home for a pack of smokes this year. Dumping out drawers and make up bags for change sometimes seemed more productive than waking my parents up for money at 2am or 4am for cigarettes.
Then there was the nights I did hop in the truck to the gas station late at night for cigarettes and didn't read the Word and found that the cashiers were women my age and I feared for their safety and security that late in the evenings.
I had my do gooder moments that involved jiving up talks on work, and school with cashiers who sold me cigarettes maybe out of sheer luck or utter loneliness while everyone I knew were asleep mostly at 2a-4a.
At least smoking gave us something else to do when we wouldn't do anything else that seemed social and team oriented even thoughtful considering others health and feelings. Smoking will definitely draw someone into your life or out of your life in a good way since collaborations see smokers some times in groups as healthy or non healthy.
When I was young my mom's friend Ralph smoked and it was a curiosity I took on in the way he smoked and the way he appeared to behave toward others with a cigarette or not. He took his habit of lighting up outside parties and he seemed more or less faraway in thought with a cigarette. And when I did notice he seed more chivalrous and comfortable or social with laughter and attentive eyes while not smoking.
Smoking definitely is an escape, and an independent captor from life in my opinion. My first boyfriend wasn't a smoker and was a football player we went out for a summer give or take while my second boyfriend in high school lasted longer and smoked so he was much more consumed by smoking than the stresses of dating me maybe and his health since he quit sports.
I didn't think smokers could be so consistent until I hung around one. He could light up at any time anywhere with a pack of cigarettes. Fixated by his smoking I'd go somewhere inside my mind before I light up to see how long before I gave in to lighting up with him. Sometime more than usual I'd light up on my own five or six in a day.
Yesterday cigarettes were a thing of the past.
One piff, two puff, three puff four, there is a plant to high on the shelf for water to reach for me and pour and I laugh out loud for the wind to absorb out the screen into the nieghborhood at will. The is a cigarette half smoked upstairs in the bedroom usually I exaggeratingly assume yet deep down the probability is that it's not there.
Yet it spins slowly around in my consciousness a vision of a smokers bliss holding back the knowledge of a lit up cigarette into chosen ignorance. At bay, on the side lines there's a bike ride and a combination of eating well and a high road on the menu of please don't smoke.
Around a small gathering of four I shared a puff off a lit cigarette a few drags here and there until I begin to stare hard then harder, then even harder at the lit cigarette between conversations. I can feel the intensity to gamble my health and that of others distracted by the absence of the next pass of a drag of a cigarette.
It was to the point where I was waiting for a puff maybe it was the connection between me and the other smoker or the build up of communication that took place with each pass of the cigarette where I would politely answer yes or no.
The desparation for the pass of a drag of a cigarette at times became an obligation and a emotional distraction pulling me in and out of different topics until I got the hang of pulling in and out myself what topics to puff off with a drag of a cigarette and which to hold out until after the silence or noise moved me to give or act before the beloved touch of or brush of the human touch with a cigarette inhalation.
These moments can grow into hours and then day turning into weeks of passing for a puff even when you know the moment isn't right. There's the right and wrong time while taking a puff of a cigarette as it can easily take away from the moment and or give to a moments truthful depth and superficial simplicities of a healthy lifestyle in the human contact of first impressions or long time impacts of others.
There isn't many socially acceptable legal habits like smoking cigarettes. Can you here the violin? What does maestro sound like in your world? I remember putting out the cigarette butt in the beach sand. It felt the way a kiss feels to lips unpredictable and full of suspense.
A cigarette blended in the west coast air compared to the east coast are very different aromas depending on how the body is feeling in the moment. One night three colleages and I were together smoking and the smell and taste blended into a popcorn hot and buttered scent and aroma.
Sometimes the inhale of a cigarette was a taste of licorice or chicken. Life's not fair. I cannot imagine the slow down of dreams let alone the human heart when every day smokers light up a cigarette for any reason or none at all.
Laying out in the sun and smoking a cigarette was the closest feeling of relaxation I have ever could get. Staring into the pages words of books and looking back and forth at the change of colors from red to black sometimes yellow. The sun light would left a resonated color change of black letters to red or yellow.
There used to be a place behind my garage growing up that was for friends who smoked and I believe I got my practice or social norm acceptance within there with lighting up cigarettes in crowds behind my garage during childhood smoking cigarettes.
There was Mr. Dockery who was a teacher I can remember twenty years ago or more who laughed and smiled with a brown beard and v neck sweaters. When I would walk into my teacher aid class for toddlers I remember smelling smoke on my hair and clothes and think of him then often. His teeth were tar stained and the cigarette smoke on him smelled just like pretzels to me.
Another time I lit up in someone's van who said no smoking and I took it lightly and lit up if I recall correctly. He was more upset than I could ever fathom I predicted when he crushedy pack of cigarettes with one fist and the other hand on the driving wheel and through it out the wondow as I cried over the incident.
He wasn't the first one to crush a pack of my cigarettes or swipe one lit from my mouth or fingers. A fellow who courted me was a jogger and not a smoker I predicted due to the doctors and lawyers in his family. They tend to build up more knowledge on the smokers health and safety.
Then there was the large number of people on planes that had to keep from fainting as they wait to get out of the airport to light up 15 feet away with laws today. We are a people of habit. Setting and rising we have the same time and space as everyone and what we do defines who we are or where we are and not going.
There are the smokers who have been criticized far worse than non smokers for their heath and saftey habits and reputation rides a high ferris wheel looking over a big city where books are judged by the cover in this society. The second hand smoke goes into carpets, couches, and on the walls.
I don't know where the healing goes for restarters of cigarette smoking. The long paper rolled tabacco stick looks like a straw a short one sometimes with a pretzel scent heating up the depths of the nostrils. Then into the brain cigarette toxins go killing brain cells and yet there are no laws for smoking mothers and fathers or relatives around babies.
Yet we cannot smoke in public stores? Theatres? And yet hospitals and churches are non smoking areas as well. Outdoor venues keep smokers in mind such as concert venues. Smoking is allowed.
Never in a million years would I want to be caught dead smoking a cigarette. The face I had to show the world with a cigarette meant a lot of things. It meant eight things to everyone around differently. Yet here goes another night of ligyting up a cigarette, of wrath mixed with tantalizing fears with the control swith in the hands of America a middle aged single brown female.
It's not that cigarette smoking is an unhealthy choice it's that quitting anything is possible woth the manifestations of choices. It's just that were so busy looking out for each other that we don't really see ourselves smoking and when we do its too late we are already hooked on getting the other person to quit.
Then there is the fast response of haste that lighting up with subdue. DISCUSSING unmet dreams, catching up on heart to heart attempts after its too late. And your mind is relaxed and the daily wine and dining brings a cigarette into the position of a god. This should not be so in my opinion. Then there is the smoking habit that I cant.seem to break of going down that particular road and there is that lighter handy this time in the right place at the right time for once.
The cigarette is nicely placed in the wallet at hands reach. The first drag is everything at once and all the worries fade for that one minute. The years went by relying on good health and feelings and then you see the days and hours put in to have that one cigarette at the right time and place and there it is all the worthwhile errors to good health for a little control.
It comes and goes and you begin to understand the situation of time it took,to lead to the moment of complete silence and pleasure so why can't this happen with getting a new job? Priorities is the answer that we love to go after with all the gusto and umph in the world.
There's always that one place to light up, that one person you just have to light up with, and the one thought that sends you the cashier for a pack of cigarettes and since the holidays are here and the choices of lighting a cigarette outside are slim to none we feel free from life and death and look the other way as we hand the cashier our hard earned money of $6.00 for a pak of cigarettes.
Fixated by our hard earned dollar we feel we may deserve what we want and don't need so what now? Just don't ash on me the back seat passenger suggests to the smoker in front seat.
Is the coffee really decaffeinated when you go through the drive thru window? Or when the waiter pours your cup of joe? There goes that vibrant cycle of supply and demand again when the stress levels skyrocket from saving ourselves for the holidays and anxiety begins to send us all into body symptoms that smoking covers up again and again with think bigger motivations such as go jogging daily or drink more water, eat less sugar or none at all.
Let's all have a cigarette! Depression can't stem from smoking any more than the decaffeinated coffee. Now what? Let's all stay inside. NO, NO, NO! Solution? Everything in moderation and don't forget to watch those carbohydrates my friends.
"Mom but smoking a cigarette keeps the other choices away." Sally cries.
"Go for a jog Sallly." Mom says.
Well then ladies and gentlesaps let's consider the array of smokers. There are those who blow smoke from their nostrils, and there are the smoke ring smoke blowers.
"What about the onion rings though aren't they much healthier George?"
To smoke or not to smoke is clearly the reward and punishment trigger for the masses. And who knows what the solution for the consequences of smoking cigarettes will sum up to in the end a quitter or a continue of the lifestyle faction.
The smell if smoke lingering into my bedroom window at 7am it's 1997, 17 years of age, and the builders outside are just arriving to finish the new deck mom wanted in the backyard. Guns and Roses playing Patience while brushing my my teeth for high school.
The peaceful morning of sunshine and warmth without a care in the world cool off the hot water in the bath of future goals and priorities such as one day becoming a nurse like mom or a union worker at the Refinery like dad.
Bagels and eggs again downstairs and all I can think about is kissing my new boyfriend before the first hour bell rings at 7:45am. The smell of cigarettes on his breath doesn't bother me or the tar stains on his teeth. He probably doesn't notice that I'm his number one beaner. That's what Mexicans are nick named and I thought it to be a cute name imagining the tiny bean dancing.
The sounds of GNR wind down the stairs while I gather my late laundry from the dryer and run back upstairs with the basket of crumpled unfolded pants and tops mostly black my favorite color. By now Axl Rose voice sounds like a buzzing bee and GNRs song " You Could Be Mine" is skipping on the lyrics " you get nothing done," and mom is telling us to turn off the music we have only ten more minutes to get to school.
I turn the television on to MTV and there is Axl Rose in purple color tinted round sunglasses and a red suit jacket lighting a cigarette in November Rains music video.
Mom kept my sister and I up to date with the latest fashions in clothes and assessories and dad with kept us up to date with computer technology and when it came to our health cigarettes were greatly distressing and devastating to have around.
"If you're worried about your health why do you smoke?" Lucinda Bassett. Then there is the fact that there's no place for the smoke to go no chimney on top of our head so where does the smoke go? Then there is the prayer for smokers that goes like this dear Lord I pray for our very fragile breathing apparatus amen.
Subconsciously there is no way to smoke a cigarette. Who knew the way to smoke a cigarette would include your major organs working through each puff? Living away from or separate from blame can be as freeing as that puff of smoke of a cigarette. It's been months since my last puff of a cigarette. Where does the time go when the choice is all yours to light up a cigarette sometimes or not?
Aimless driving can be an interesting time to light up, running small errands can also be a time to light up a cigarette. I asked if the
Patch would be more easy to use only to be considered of the ignorance of changing such a habit as lighting up a cigarette. There isn't a holiday as the one with a sneak outside for a puff of a cigarette and then some. The non,smokers can smell it a mile away and then some. There wasn't a single pain in the button than someone who has to smoke a cigarette and then goes into the house with smoke on their clothes and breath.
I'm convinced we can hide or stride along the way anywhere with a pack of cigarettes and feel relief or liberation under any circumstances due to the moment of control you have or don't lighting up a cigarette.
Literally having to stop everything to get a lighter, retrieve your cigarettes from a purse, or glove compartment while balancing lighter flame to the moment of inhalation to light the cigarette could be a very unhealthy empowerment to the moment of the exhale.
Maybe nicotine as a force and addictive power is capable of doing alot of the liberated feelings probably false to reality-based health and well being fantasies when neglected. So day in and day out we can explore new mentalities of smoking cigarettes as proof of smoking genes at 20 percent from the parents habit down to their offspring smoking cigarettes.
Smoking as told by doctors by depressed Americans take 2 smoke breaks more in a 40 percent study statistic. Although most importantly there isn't a good life longitivty
endorsement with smoking cigarettes although many elders who have been said to have smoked many years and have no terminal illnesses or health issues; some from their own words face to face say that they've had no critical health problems.
Confessions have shown the faith of many people who have smoked cigarettes as proof that smoking given all the propaganda or health concepts via media, or word of mouth it is stress as an opinion that triggers bad health decisions such as cigarette smoking, and he who hasnt had a bad health choice taken cast the first stone. There is a bulge in my stomach and it isn't what I would normally accept the suffocating and crammed inflamed bloat to be, the very thick warm ream.
Smoking would off kilter this awkward feeling in my stressmoch aka stomach. This year I really am sorry to quit smoking when lighting up for so long remedied the boiling and brewing nerves in my stomach.
I've not only put on ten more malicious pounds of body fat I have been busting arse to alternate my smoking habit for reasons unknown.
A big bowl of cigarettes were placed at the ceremony of a wedding recently. This can be complimentary and appropriate for a grand social setting and make a splendid turnout for a wedding. No proof no harm, only suspicion as a long connection through unpredictable circumstances and mysteries such as smoking consequences and careers. Let's not forget a little goes a long way on a bike, track, or concert venue as we breathe in great amounts of serotonin development of our own chemical make up.
Don't forget George Michael in that Faith poster with his sexy jeans and aviator sunglasses with his cigarette hanging from his beautiful mouth. Or contemplate your own celebrity memory from eras of impact and influence. The 60's icons Sinatra, or jump into the 80's where Madonna posed gorgeous and strong with a cigarette. Whoa! Who can peel away these euphoric images that can cause anyone to blush and bruise. Yowsa! Christmas holidays can bring a pack a cigarettes in a fantasy of all genres combined into the 7,000 chemicals of smoked joy in one lifeless breath away from what we be leave is life in faiths all around us. Jesus knew I believe that his creation would and could combine and light up his true beauty into a tiny offering such as a cigarette to even excessive amounts.
Charisma. Driving in traffic with no gas and a feces stench that rides for hours, or cigarette plaque flung at the mirror with floss routines ring bells for bodily toxic turmoil. Many smokers deal with such avenues of internal abuse to rule out all reasoning of cigarette smoking.
There isn't much thought to a cigarette or lighting up one. It hasn't been a desire in mind to have a smoke. The state of Indiana has sanctioned against cigarette smoking within several feet from their public door.
In addition, Illinois has made cigarette smoking illegal in public places that traditionally has been a great social outlet after lunch and dinners. Has this increased the health of the community? Has banning cigarette smoking increased physical exercises such as running, walking, or made citizens more active? Ask Mr. Google for a statistic or research the current economic growth even since cigarettes became illegal in some states only.
Could it be a theory that smoking covers up many unpleasant areas of life? Tempting to see cigarettes with more than half left to smoke put out. The taste of many flavors and aromas come out of one cigarette and then goes so many ways to smoke a cigarette and say goodbye to putting.it out or feeling greeted at first spark.
The taste is good when it's a new pack not a stale one. Yet there are more times than not picking up a stale pack can leave a bitter taste in your mouth. Then there are many times the sun hits your skin just right and you ate a healthy meal and maybe deserve a little puff or two of a cigarette.
Same goes with carbohydrates tuning into sugar and counted as energy for your calories are countless and estimated more times than not. Yet with protein and fat there isn't much of a chance to get the right amounts when our soul is depleted of the nutrients and minerals our bodies need mostly. So a beer may take away what you do have for your body that's good and just as a cigarette leaves nothing in return for your body to be centered and sound.
So the bond of cigarettes are mutually exclusive. The cigarettes caused many problems from scoldings from others to health problems with a lot of stress and pressure to be one of the lucky ones. The lucky ones who aren't affected with cancer, or emphesema.
I was diagnosed this year with a cancerous cyst on my overy. It had to be removed woth chances of returning on my other ovary. Is this from cigarette smoking? The paradox is smoking is cancerous yet can I be detected as cancer from smoking?
ththe book marks in the books pushed me to read on past the person who read up to the page marked whether it was a. Ook mark placed in the book by a 
