Remembering the voices and throat clearing and shuffling of papers of all my professors ...the page turning of student text books and the cold crisp cracking noises of new college books....are the memories of my youth and daily upbringing. Where did my youth go? Who am I kidding as I rise in the morning to a hunger for knowledge and a longing for love? Hope.
Speckled images of a time well spent, a time long gone. Breaking into my present is a time where the depths of memory have grown further down while digging for treasures through all the mud of times masterpiece, the past. There used to be more trust with the learning time. The time when your young and looking for answers. Curious how things work?
Dad would ask this question often assuming I wasn't interested in how things work. Walking from class to class with a walk man and a book bag was a daily task for a handful of years. Exploring the culture and great fields of study such as music, law, science, and criminal justice was my adventure every day.
Surrounded by students with a common goal, to graduate and become an achiever of something bigger than anyone. Where has the time gone?, it brings me to tears to think how much time has gone by since graduating from Indiana University, Bloomington, Indiana 2003. Time just burns up everything so fast.
Amazingly, I was working at America's coffee and all it took was one colleague to contact me for a college reunion. It was the most awkward time. The way it happened was my manager said I had a phone call at work. In the age of cells who would be calling me at work on the cell. It was Shawn, the black sheep of our college onterage. And being pregnant at the time about to take off from work, there couldn't be a more miracle of a time to think of a a family of alumni than that moment.
Saturday, January 20, 2018
Tuesday, January 9, 2018
Healthy Girl
There's a long grief from obsession about my long relation with my belly fat. It seems I'm all focused on the wrong part, my belly fat. It feels terrible to think of the fat on my belly, and no where else.
I don't think about the fat on my butt or back. Or my face and thighs. All day I'm thinking about fat. Fat on my elly. Is it under or over my stomach? And is it just as watery on the inside as it is on the outside? What is all this jello around my middle and sides?
And it just sits in rolls. All day I work on losing this fat around my middle. I obsess about having the flat stomach with a size 20, 15, 25. Where does it come from? Does it really come from sugar? Does it really shrink and come back just as fast as I eat 9r not?
So many strategies to flat abs on television and in books by doctors, and scientists. I just don't know what else to do. I've done years of sit ups, a d years of nothing. Let's just say months.
All this hype on thin model talk and size 5 pants and how good it looks and feels. What a career! God knows beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Wisdom tells us from one day to the next no day is the same. I'm so self conscious and the bane of my own self image.
Love your body news still hasn't helped me in all this obsession over the tire around my middle. Up and down the scale rises and falls and all of it comes from my middle. It makes me feel good some days and bad other days when I can hide it or show it in the right fit of clothes.
There's a long grief from obsession about my long relation with my body fat. It seems I'm all focused on the wrong part, my belly fat. It feels terrible to think of the fat on my belly, and no where else. There's alot to look at and follow with losing weight all over not just the belly. That goes when you're working on your arms, or legs as well as the belly flab.
At the gym it takes a full body balance with weights and cardiovascular fitness alternating upper and lower body work outs every day.
My whole life I've been working for those sexy abs of steel to no avail. Watching what I eat and joining gyms all over Chicago. Memberships nation wide. I just couldn't believe I'd ever get peace of mind with myself. Squeezing into tight jeans and khakis with sweaters helped to hide my very flawed belly it seemed to me.
Talk about obsessed and determined to get rid of these flabby rolls, I spent years with talking more about it than anything else. And probably will until I can sustain the right fitness formula for me.
It takes days and months to keep up those healthy flat abs that I sometimes had depending how well I was eating and resting right. Stress and child baring can make it challenging to lose weight around yor middle and being short or giving up.
Trying to keep up with those photographs in fitness magazines makes it pretty hard to accept the results and work done to stay trim and svelte as I wok very hard to keep up with what Ive fallen far behind on since 2003.
I think you can do anything anywhere it just seems more difficult to for example get those chiselled abs if you are not around others who have chiseled abs if your like me weak. I've given in easily to weight gain eating too much, and exercising too little.
The formula I've failed time and time again.
There's a long grief from obsession about my long relation with my belly fat. It seems I'm all focused on the wrong part, my belly fat. It feels terrible to think of the fat on my belly, and no where else. An amazing recipe for oatmeal that goes way back to the stone age in my family that my mother makes even still today:
4 cups of boiling water
<1/2 cup cinnamon
a pinch of salt
2-4 cups of oats
and for sugar she uses <1.2 cup of pancake syrup
and let sit and cook with flame off for 15-20 minutes. Depending on how thick you like it.
So many strategies to flat abs on television and in books by doctors, and scientists. I just don't know what else to do. I've done years of sit ups, a d years of nothing. Let's just say months.
All this hype on thin model talk and size 5 pants and how good it looks and feels. What a career! God knows beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Wisdom tells us from one day to the next no day is the same. I'm so self conscious and the bane of my own self image.
Love your body news still hasn't helped me in all this obsession over the tire around my middle. Up and down the scale rises and falls and all of it comes from my middle. It makes me feel good some days and bad other days when I can hide it or show it in the right fit of clothes.
There's a long grief from obsession about my long relation with my body fat. It seems I'm all focused on the wrong part, my belly fat. It feels terrible to think of the fat on my belly, and no where else. There's alot to look at and follow with losing weight all over not just the belly. That goes when you're working on your arms, or legs as well as the belly flab.
At the gym it takes a full body balance with weights and cardiovascular fitness alternating upper and lower body work outs every day.
My whole life I've been working for those sexy abs of steel to no avail. Watching what I eat and joining gyms all over Chicago. Memberships nation wide. I just couldn't believe I'd ever get peace of mind with myself. Squeezing into tight jeans and khakis with sweaters helped to hide my very flawed belly it seemed to me.
Talk about obsessed and determined to get rid of these flabby rolls, I spent years with talking more about it than anything else. And probably will until I can sustain the right fitness formula for me.
It takes days and months to keep up those healthy flat abs that I sometimes had depending how well I was eating and resting right. Stress and child baring can make it challenging to lose weight around yor middle and being short or giving up.
Trying to keep up with those photographs in fitness magazines makes it pretty hard to accept the results and work done to stay trim and svelte as I wok very hard to keep up with what Ive fallen far behind on since 2003.
I think you can do anything anywhere it just seems more difficult to for example get those chiselled abs if you are not around others who have chiseled abs if your like me weak. I've given in easily to weight gain eating too much, and exercising too little.
The formula I've failed time and time again.
There's a long grief from obsession about my long relation with my belly fat. It seems I'm all focused on the wrong part, my belly fat. It feels terrible to think of the fat on my belly, and no where else. An amazing recipe for oatmeal that goes way back to the stone age in my family that my mother makes even still today:
4 cups of boiling water
<1/2 cup cinnamon
a pinch of salt
2-4 cups of oats
and for sugar she uses <1.2 cup of pancake syrup
and let sit and cook with flame off for 15-20 minutes. Depending on how thick you like it.
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