Through the Northwest region of Indiana, during the days and nights of winter, summer, fall, and autumn, Jerry's lessons in relationships turmoil ed her into despair. She felt her dreams of the profound career, marriage, and friendships were slipping through her hands. At dawn she chose to wake, journal her journeys to the east, west, south, and north ends of the world eagerly her suitcases were packed and for months she waited for the day her ship would come and she would sail away far into the oceans and seas.
"Jerry? Are you up?" Called mom.
"What?!!" She cried.
What was the time and age Jerry wondered. Where was that humility she left somewhere in her last relationship down in Bloomington Indiana. Would I ever get it back before my fear of pride and arrogance chokes me to death? She feared to herself. Being home from college, finding work, building new relationships, true love, and marriage plans were growing dim and Jerry colored her nails blue and her lipsticks were black and metalic colors.
She tried to learn guitar, piano, and creative writing but it was no use as she could not shake off her blanket of blues since Kloi, Jen, Rob, Derek, Delana, and many more of her graduating class had sailed their ships off already into the abyss of their lives. Jerry felt herself slipping deeper and deeper into wonders if she had missed her ship, and if she would be able to break from the heavy chains shackled around her ankles she imagined as her hangovers day after day put her dreams further and further away. Trembling and crying through the cold winters of northwest Indiana, Jerry's nail polish was chipped, and her lips were chapped. Her skin grew scaley and dry, and her hair was greasy and the ends brittle as she sat by the phone on the carpet of her bedroom at home.
"Jerry?! Breakfast is ready!" Mom shouted.
"Coming!" Jerry yelled.
Jerry smoked her last cigarette to the filter, and pale skinned and scared of another job or relationship rejection she grew more and more numb and began to feel her first stages of bitterness. When she couldn't remember who to blame anymore for the failures and risks in her life, she had herself to blame, and when she had blamed herself to her last tear and lethary, her comatose state blurred all the phone calls and work she had been taking into account for the past two to three years.
The only comfort she found was in the aroma of sausage, waffles, and eggs from the kitchen downstairs. Self pity stage had swallowed up Jerry's enthusiasm and humor. Her maps and journals began to get stashed away and lost in all her journals and her father would pack up the over piling journals and put them away in the attic and garage storage space. The phone rang.
"Will you marry me?" Asked Harold.
"No, but I'm flattered." Answered Jerry.
Chicago looked promising from the northwest region of Indiana. Summer was coming yet was still far from its first blooming flower. Rain splashed on the busy streets, and the recession was growing worse. The economy had been swallowing itself in larger gulps as the president of the U.S. was being blamed for not caring for the relevant matters of the people. Although jobs at the post offices were being lost in the thousands, other jobs were being opened up for hire. There was hope. Yet the worst was to come.
